Becoming your own hero
You spend your life hoping for this big cathartic moment when all the wrongs that have been done to you will be righted, when all that has been lost will be restored. But the truth is, that moment will never come. He will never say he is sorry. He didn’t care then and he doesn’t care now. He will never care that his actions caused immeasurable pain. You have to let go of the need to be rescued. You have to decide that he took your childhood and if you let him he could take your future too. You have to decide that here and now. The future is of your own making and you must do whatever it takes to make it better.
This is a poem I wrote several years ago:
The Knights in Shining Armour Never Came
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe they got lost along their way
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe the dispatcher misheard my name
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe they got stuck playing someone else’s game
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe the horses got scared and ran away
The knights in shining armour never came
Was there simply too much shame?
The knights in shining armour never came
But suddenly it’s not the same
The knights in shining armour never came
I don’t look at them these days with blame
The knights in shining armour never came
I found myself another way
You can’t fix all the wrongs that have been done. No one can.
What you have is the chance to have a future.
We didn’t have the chance to be children. We need to acknowledge that. We can’t change it but we can redress it.
We can take the time to allow ourselves simple childish pleasures. Swing. Eat ice-cream, run with abandon. Ride a bike. Make a list of things you never got to do as a child and set about doing them. Allow yourself what was never allowed – allow it and bless it, or sanction it. Make a list of things to try – or of tasks you must fullfil. Call it extreme self-care of your inner child if you like but find a way to do it.
You can’t fix all that went wrong, but fix what you can in the present and leave what you can’t in the past where it belongs.
♥ ~ Sue
© 2017 Susan Parry-Jones
This is a poem I wrote several years ago:
The Knights in Shining Armour Never Came
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe they got lost along their way
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe the dispatcher misheard my name
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe they got stuck playing someone else’s game
The knights in shining armour never came
Maybe the horses got scared and ran away
The knights in shining armour never came
Was there simply too much shame?
The knights in shining armour never came
But suddenly it’s not the same
The knights in shining armour never came
I don’t look at them these days with blame
The knights in shining armour never came
I found myself another way
You can’t fix all the wrongs that have been done. No one can.
What you have is the chance to have a future.
We didn’t have the chance to be children. We need to acknowledge that. We can’t change it but we can redress it.
We can take the time to allow ourselves simple childish pleasures. Swing. Eat ice-cream, run with abandon. Ride a bike. Make a list of things you never got to do as a child and set about doing them. Allow yourself what was never allowed – allow it and bless it, or sanction it. Make a list of things to try – or of tasks you must fullfil. Call it extreme self-care of your inner child if you like but find a way to do it.
You can’t fix all that went wrong, but fix what you can in the present and leave what you can’t in the past where it belongs.
♥ ~ Sue
© 2017 Susan Parry-Jones
