EFT as a recovery tool
This is from a letter I wrote to the EFT program I had used and found helpful.....
"I was forty four when I was introduced to EFT, and although when I was first told about it I thought it sounded bizarre and not something I would want to try, I came to appreciate that after forty years, the pain I felt when I remembered my past made it worth trying anything! So I listened to a friend who valued EFT, looked at the web site, and began to try it out. I was still somewhat sceptical!
I had been a victim of thirteen years of almost daily sexual abuse by my father, coupled with the knowledge that my mother stood by and did nothing, and engaged in physical and emotional abuse of me alongside him.
The abuse began when I was four years old, and ceased when I was sixteen, when, sure I was pregnant, and more afraid of the potential consequences of not stopping him, I said ‘no more’.
For the next twenty or so years I thought I was doing ok. And in many ways I was. I had trained as a Social Worker, got married, and had eight children. Our life was really pretty good, and to anyone looking from outside, we would have all seemed happy, and ok. However, when one morning my husband up and left, and I was faced with being alone, raising the children by myself, and managing the life I thought we were sharing without him, I was faced with some pretty big emotional holes to plug.
That was about three years before I came across EFT. By the time I was introduced to EFT I had done a number of things – personal and marital counselling, self help for Co-Dependant recovery, a lot of reading, post graduate study in counselling which was enlightening for me and really I had progressed in many ways. And yet....
The hardest thing for me was always the memories. I had memories I could not talk about. But which I longed to unload to someone. The problem I faced was that when I tried to share these memories, people around me mostly didn’t really have the capacity to hear – often saying things like ‘don’t feel you have to talk about it – its so painful for you’. And so the memories stayed firmly tucked away in my own head where they were ‘safe’ Or perhaps where others were safe from them. But keeping them to myself meant that I was locked in with them. They were always there for me. Memories that made me uncomfortable in a myriad of circumstances. Memories that would be touched by current events, triggering painful emotions. And there were so many memories.
Year before I had considered and even begun writing a book, but the project was, frankly, too painful for me to complete.
After I was introduced to EFT everything changed. Gary, even writing this brings tears to my eyes as I remember the pain I used to live with, which is now gone.....totally gone. I am a different person. And I have finally been able to write my book.
What I did was to spend about a year. Yes, a year. Each day (well each evening after I got the children all to bed) I wrote. And then I tapped through every memory I had written about. I found that it was essential to not tap generally on being abused, but to name every single event that happened to me, and every emotion that came to mind as I tapped on each event. Sometime I came to a block. At those times I did tap generally, 'even though I can't remember what happened...I feel uncomfortable when I remember that car...' This often unlocked feelings and then I was able to make links to things I did remember that clarified what had hurt me.
I did not, in this process, recover lost memories. I was always fully aware of what I had suffered. What did happen though is that I became more aware of the feelings attached to the events, and became clearer about what I had actually felt. My feelings, as I was living with the abuse, were always pushed aside – in many cases totally abandoned. It was the only way I was able to continue living within my family while still being abused. As I tapped on a specific event, I would start to become aware of feelings I would surely have had, but suppressed all my life until then. And it was tapping on those feelings that brought the most amazing results.
I also found that I could tap retrospectively. What I mean by that, is that I found I would sometimes remember a feeling I had had when I was 6, or 10 or whatever, and then I would focus on myself as I was then, clothes I wore, places I lived, get a very clear mental picture of myself at that age, and then tap as if I was tapping at that time. The results of that process have been profound. It is almost as if I grew up unharmed.
Gary, what I have got out of my use of EFT leaves me speechless. I really am a new person, and so thankful that I had to courage to try something that seemed strange!
My book, to be called MILES AWAY is almost ready for publication. And I will refer to EFT in the acknowledgements, because it was only through knowing that I could tap away each memory, that I could write about them. And it was only in writing them down that I could finally get them out of my head. Sharing my story with the world was made possible through EFT and I will be forever thankful."
EFT, as I understand it, is based on the idea of trauma being stored in our bodies, much like muscle memory. Using acupressure techniques this resource may assist trauma victims in many ways. There are a number of web sites and practitioners, please consult them if you wish to make use of this resource.
♥ ~ Sue
© 2017 Susan Parry-Jones